Coming Out of the Closet

Das ist eine komische Anzeige aus den Niederlanden... just watch.

Ode to a German Waschmaschine

Here's to you German Waschmaschine... oh how we Auslanders envy your superior environmentally friendly-ness. We don't mind if it takes 2 and half hours to make our clothes wet and not remove any stains... it's the trees and little furry animals of the forest that are our first priority.

But please German Waschmaschine, don't lock my clothes in soapy water inside your magnificent frontloaded belly when you feel like shutting down.

Also, dearest German Waschmaschine, would it be possible to include a written path to follow, such that I may learn to navigate your 12 glorious cycles? With words like 'Pflegeleicht' and 'Schleudern' and 'Wishchwaesche' you make my head go through a spin cycle.

Oh sweet German Waschmaschine, can you be a little less greedy? Are 3 trays for detergent really necessary to be fed? When my clothes return to me soaked in detergent because I angered you by placing detergent in the wrong tray, I feel forsaken.

Most enlightened German Waschmaschine, I feel unworthy every time you break down and I am forced to clean my laundry in my sink or my shower... do you not love me German Waschmaschine? Am I not good enough for you?

Oh German Waschmaschine, how complicated our relationship is... but whatever I do, I just can't quit you!

...inspired by actual events

The NEW Apartment Tour

Alright y'all... it's time to check out my new crib. This here apartment is located almost 10 km outside of Darmstadt, which mean it's about a 45 minute commute to work everyday since I have to walk about half of it. It's in a very quite area kind of tucked away back in a little 'forest'. Here is the Google Maps link to it so you can check out the satellite view yourself... check it out. The building is 2 stories and recently renovated. There is a 'laundry room' in the basement with a washer and dryer... those will be discussed in an upcoming post entitled "Ode to a German Waschmaschine". I have my own mail box, which is currently being tested for ability to receive US mail (I hope). I live on the top floor but there is an elevator (awesome), so no more climbing up 4 stories like I had to in my old place.


(Video tour at the bottom of the post) The apartment is made of two large rooms and a bathroom... all separated by doors, so no more olive green curtains. The 'kitchen' is part of the living room and includes a dishwasher and microwave, as well as the standard hotplates and mini fridge. They included pretty much a full set of dishes, cookware and utensils... so I have everything I need. The bedroom has two separate beds and each bed has a unique style... one is a super soft spring mattress while the other is a firm memory foam mattress... so whatever mood I'm in I have a bed for the occasion. The only problem is that the beds cannot be pushed together, so I am stuck sleeping on what feels like a rather narrow twin sized mattress. Satellite TV (consisting of 34 German stations... no English) and Internet is free, but I have to pay for 'cleaning'. I am responsible for providing and cleaning my own towels, as well as cleaning the dishes. I also have to keep the kitchen area and bathroom clean as well. I also have to dispose of my own garbage. Also, the bedsheets only get changed once every 2 weeks... so I'm wondering... what am I paying them to do? It sounds like the only thing they do is vacuum. Shoot, give me my money back and I'll vacuum my own place.


Luckily that is my only complaint with the place, so I am very fortunate compared to the old place, which cost 50 euro more than what I am paying now. Also, it seems like the manager actually cares about her property, so that is a big plus in case anything breaks. I have already set off the smoke alarm while cooking, so every time I cook I unplug the battery now. Luckily it was just to localized room smoke alarm and didn't set off the entire building... which would have been incredibly embarrassing since it was only 2 days into my stay. Nothing like making everyone evacuate in the freezing cold to introduce myself.

I have already met one person there... a guy from England whom I met while doing laundry. Supposedly there are some people from California there too, so I guess I'll have to make my obnoxious American-ness known and maybe they will seek me out.

Return to Germany 2009

Well, it's been a while... Went home to Oregon for 3 weeks for the holidays. For the most part it was a fun time, except for the 18 inches of snow and ice that came in the span of 2 days (see photo). I had tickets to the Jets/Seahawks game up in Seattle right after the storm hit. Luckily I have a truck with 4WD so we managed to make it up there, but very slowly since the road was just a sheet of ice. A trip that normally takes 3 hours took us 6 and a half. We decided to go up early to make sure we got the on time and crashed at my sister's for the night. The game was great... Got to see Brett Favre and also Mike Holmgren's last home game before he retired. They did a big tribute to him at the end which was neat. What was really fun was that the stadium was covered in snow, so everyone was throwing snowballs everywhere. Security tried to kick people out, but that just encouraged people to do it more. At the end of the game some of the Jets players were getting sick of it all and decided to retaliate at the fans... check it out.

I had a good Christmas... Got some gift certificates for some new clothing so went on a shopping spree. The cashier lady was surprised by how much stuff I had, but I told her that I had to stock up on good fashion before I headed back to the land of neon jumpsuits and mullets. Once Christmas was over my mom and I made a surprise visit to Madison to visit the family. We though it would be smart to leave on the day after Christmas during all the crappy weather (sarcasm). We made it to Minnesota alright, but got stuck there for a good 7 hours before they loaded us on buses and shipped us down to Madison. The trip took about 6 hours, so we didn't get in until almost 3am. We were supposed ot get in at 7pm the day before so we had to get a taxi to a hotel for the the night. Had a good time meeting up with the family, especially since I haven't been there for like 5 years. The trip back to Oregon wasn't much better. In Madison we got stuck for 5 hours for some 'maintenance' issue, so we missed our connection to Portland. We got on the next one, but we had to wait 2 hours in Minnesota before it arrived... and of course it arrived late. Let's just say I spent a good amount of time that day in a bar watching football.

The flight back to Germany was alright. They moved my seat without asking me but put me in an exit row so I had tons of leg room. The only problem was that it was right next to the bathrooms so everyone congregated around us, which got a little annoying. Also, there was a family in the middle row with 3 young children who kept running around and crying and pooping themselves. At one point one of the youngest ones came over and blatantly knocked the cup of orange juice off the tray of the guy that was sitting next to me... no punishment. Kids get off too easy these days for stuff I would get smacked for.

Anyways, when I arrived in Germany we got in 45 minutes early, so they had to unload us on the tarmac onto buses to take us to the terminal. Kinda sucked, but what made it miserable was the fact that it was -20 C out (~0 F) and it was windy. I think my lungs actually froze about 10 seconds after being out there. But I managed to survive and made it to my bus to Darmstadt and then got a taxi to my new apartment. Luckily the manager spoke a little English, so with my little German we were able to figure everything out. She was really nice. She showed me around the apartment and told me how to work everything and what not, so the transition was smooth. Once I was settled I headed to work to pick up the stuff I left behind in my office. I arrived right at lunch time so I got lunch with the people I usually eat with and then I headed out. Once I deposited everything I had to make 2 trips to the grocery store (about a mile away) to get some food. Since I can only buy what I can carry I have had to make 4 trips there and back in the past 3 days, and I will probably be making another one today after my workout. Kind of obnoxious, but hopefully I will be able to cut it back to once a week after I have all the basics that I need.

Anyways, this is getting too long so I should probably cut it. Coming up... apartment tour... get excited.

Trip to Berlin

So my friend from Alabama came over last week and we decided to take a weekend trip up to Berlin to check it out since it was on my list of places to see. Ironically, it was actually cheaper to fly to Barcelona, Spain (which is also on my list) and much much warmer... but I guess we just forgot about that. Anyways, after 5 hours on a train from Frankfurt to Berlin we got off and headed towards our hotel and assaulted the first McDonald's we could find... best meal ever. Then we took a little nap and headed out to go check out the nightlife with a group of about 150 Americans... very weird experience being in Germany and not a German in sight.

The next day we woke up and did all of the typical Berlin touristy junk. First we saw the Brandenburg gate and the US Embassy... which we the American people now own our own street in Berlin near the embassy where our tax dollars have paid for them to move it back a hundred meters or so. Then we headed over to the Reichstag with plans to climb to the top and check out the city... unfortunately everyone else in town had the same plan, so we had to wait in line outside for over an hour... luckily it wasn't terribly cold and not raining. By the time we got in and through the security checkpoint and made it to the top the sun was setting... made taking any pictures of the city kinda hard.

From there we headed down to Checkpoint Charlie... on the way we found this super famous chocolate shop with huge replicas of Berlin buildings al in chocolate where we did a little shopping. Then we finally made it to the checkpoint and took a bunch of pictures... wasn't very impressive, just a couple signs and a little wooden building in the middle of the road... but we did see a 'peace' of the wall. By this time we were both starving because we hadn't eaten all day and it was about 6pm, so we grabbed a bratwurst and walked through one of the many Berlin Weinachtmarkts (Christmas Markets)... probably second best meal ever. After that we went home and passed out.

Overall I think Barcelona would have been a better choice... at least for my well being, but Berlin was definitely a fun time... don't know if I'll go back, but I do recommend it for anyone planning a trip to Germany.

Smoke... everywhere... can't breathe...

So I know it is somewhat common knowledge that more Europeans smoke than in the US, but I never knew to what extent. Everywhere I go there is always someone lighting up or looking miserably while puffing away. I have found that whenever I go anywhere in public I am always breathing in someone else's secondhand smoke. There are these wonderful little cigarette dispensers all over, as seen in the picture to the left. You can find them at every train station, street corner and even near schoolyards... I guess so parents can get their fix while they watch their children play. The funny bit about these machines is that they only require a credit card , or in some case a few pieces of change to operate, so anyone can buy them... even kids... and they do.

The really ironic part though is that all cigarette packs and boxes are required to have large warnings on them (see image to right). My favortite warnings include "smoking will kill you" and "smokers die younger". Unfortunately though it seems as though these warnings are not heeded, in fact it seems more like they actually encourage the habit. I guess there is some reverse correlation to the size of the warning on the package to the number of people who will smoke it.

Interesting German food offerings...

We all know that Germans are not incredible chefs and often have an intriguing taste palatte that is rarely shared by most other people around the world, but this time they have gone too far...

I saw an add last night on TV for a new line of burgers from Burger King apparently aimed at stimulating those 'festive' taste buds. The new burgers are called the XXL burgers and come in 3 flavors... Regular, Crunchy Cajun and Spicy Cranberry... Cranberry, on a burger... you've got to be kidding. I know it's Thanksgiving and Christmas time and all, but seriously. Check it out for yourself, I found this short version of the ad on YouTube... here

The part I love best is that they spread the cranberry sauce on top of the 'flame broiled 100% angus beef' whatever patty like it was a piece of toast... so not appealing. McDonald's isn't doing so well either when it comes to the German menu. Much like their popular Chicken McNuggets they now have... well, see for yourself... here

Shrimp cocktail... at McDonald's... uh uh... no way... not happening. There is no way that eating shrimp at McDonald's could ever end well. I love shrimp more than the next guy, but I am not despreate enough to get it from a fast food joint... especially one that doesn't regularly serve seafood outside of their 'fillet-o-fish' sandwich. I wonder how many lawsuits will come out of this one.